STREPSIADES
  And　is　it　not　rightly　done；　since　he　refuses　military　service？　But
  what　use　is　there　in　learning　what　we　all　know？
  SOCRATES
  You　know　nothing　about　it。　Come；　lie　down　there。
  STREPSIADES
  What　for？
  SOCRATES
  Ponder　awhile　over　matters　that　interest　you。
  STREPSIADES
  Oh！　I　pray　you；　not　there　but；　if　I　must　lie　down　and　ponder；
  let　me　lie　on　the　ground。
  SOCRATES
  That's　out　of　the　question。　Come！　on　the　couch！
  STREPSIADES　（as　he　lies　down）
  What　cruel　fate！　What　a　torture　the　bugs　will　this　day　put　me　to！
  （Socrates　turns　aside。）
  CHORUS　（singing）
  Ponder　and　examine　closely；　gather　your　thoughts　together；　let
  your　mind　turn　to　every　side　of　things；　if　you　meet　with　a　difficulty；
  spring　quickly　to　some　other　idea；　above　all；　keep　your　eyes　away　from
  all　gentle　sleep。
  STREPSIADES　（singing）
  Ow；　Wow；　Wow；　Wow　is　me！
  CHORUS　（singing）
  What　ails　you？　why　do　you　cry　so？
  STREPSIADES
  Oh！　I　am　a　dead　man！　Here　are　these　cursed　Corinthians　advancing
  upon　me　from　all　corners　of　the　couch；　they　are　biting　me；　they　are
  gnawing　at　my　sides；　they　are　drinking　all　my　blood；　they　are
  yanking　of　my　balls；　they　are　digging　into　my　arse；　they　are　killing
  me！
  LEADER　OF　THE　CHORUS
  Not　so　much　wailing　and　clamour；　if　you　please。
  STREPSIADES
  How　can　I　obey？　I　have　lost　my　money　and　my　complexion；　my　blood
  and　my　slippers；　and　to　cap　my　misery；　I　must　keep　awake　on　this
  couch；　when　scarce　a　breath　of　life　is　left　in　me。
  （A　brief　interval　of　silence　ensues。）
  SOCRATES
  Well　now！　what　are　you　doing？　are　you　reflecting？
  STREPSIADES
  Yes；　by　Posidon！
  SOCRATES
  What　about？
  STREPSIADES
  Whether　the　bugs　will　entirely　devour　me。
  SOCRATES
  May　death　seize　you；　accursed　man！
  （He　turns　aside　again。）
  STREPSIADES
  Ah　it　has　already。
  SOCRATES
  Come；　no　giving　way！　Cover　up　your　head；　the　thing　to　do　is　to
  find　an　ingenious　alternative。
  STREPSIADES
  An　alternative！　ah！　I　only　wish　one　would　come　to　me　from　within
  these　coverlets！
  （Another　interval　of　silence　ensues。）
  SOCRATES
  Wait！　let　us　see　what　our　fellow　is　doing！　Ho！　are　you　asleep？
  STREPSIADES
  No；　by　Apollo！
  SOCRATES
  Have　you　got　hold　of　anything？
  STREPSIADES
  No；　nothing　whatever。
  SOCRATES
  Nothing　at　all？
  STREPSIADES
  No；　nothing　except　my　tool；　which　I've　got　in　my　hand。
  SOCRATES
  Aren't　you　going　to　cover　your　head　immediately　and　ponder？
  STREPSIADES
  On　what？　Come；　Socrates；　tell　me。
  SOCRATES
  Think　first　what　you　want；　and　then　tell　me。
  STREPSIADES
  But　I　have　told　you　a　thousand　times　what　I　want。　Not　to　pay　any
  of　my　creditors。
  SOCRATES
  Come；　wrap　yourself　up；　concentrate　your　mind；　which　wanders　to
  lightly；　study　every　detail；　scheme　and　examine　thoroughly。
  STREPSIADES
  Alas！　Alas！
  SOCRATES
  Keep　still；　and　if　any　notion　troubles　you；　put　it　quickly
  aside；　then　resume　it　and　think　over　it　again。
  STREPSIADES
  My　dear　little　Socrates！
  SOCRATES
  What　is　it；　old　greybeard？
  STREPSIADES
  I　have　a　scheme　for　not　paying　my　debts。
  SOCRATES
  Let　us　hear　it。
  STREPSIADES
  Tell　me；　if　I　purchased　a　Thessalian　witch；　I　could　make　the
  moon　descend　during　the　night　and　shut　it；　like　a　mirror；　into　a　round
  box　and　there　keep　it　carefully。。。。
  SOCRATES
  How　would　you　gain　by　that？
  STREPSIADES
  How？　why；　if　the　moon　did　not　rise；　I　would　have　no　interest　to
  pay。
  SOCRATES
  Why　so？
  STREPSIADES
  Because　money　is　lent　by　the　month。
  SOCRATES
  Good！　but　I　am　going　to　propose　another　trick　to　you。　If　you
  were　condemned　to　pay　five　talents；　how　would　you　manage　to　quash　that
  verdict？　Tell　me。
  STREPSIADES
  How？　how？　I　don't　know；　I　must　think。
  SOCRATES
  Do　you　always　shut　your　thoughts　within　yourself？　Let　your　ideas
  fly　in　the　air；　like　a　may…bug；　tied　by　the　foot　with　a　thread。
  STREPSIADES
  I　have　found　a　very　clever　way　to　annul　that　conviction；　you
  will　admit　that　much　yourself。
  SOCRATES
  What　is　it？
  STREPSIADES
  Have　you　ever　seen　a　beautiful；　transparent　stone　at　the
  druggists'；　with　which　you　may　kindle　fire？
  SOCRATES
  You　mean　a　crystal　lens。
  STREPSIADES
  That's　right。　Well；　now　if　I　placed　myself　with　this　stone　in
  the　sun　and　a　long　way　off　from　the　clerk；　while　he　was　writing　out
  the　conviction；　I　could　make　all　the　wax；　upon　which　the　words　were
  written；　melt。
  SOCRATES
  Well　thought　out；　by　the　Graces！
  STREPSIADES
  Ah！　I　am　delighted　to　have　annulled　the　decree　that　was　to　cost　me
  five　talents。
  SOCRATES
  Come；　take　up　this　next　question　quickly。
  STREPSIADES
  Which？
  SOCRATES
  If；　when　summoned　to　court；　you　were　in　danger　of　losing　your　case
  for　want　of　witnesses；　how　would　you　make　the　conviction　fall　upon
  your　opponent？
  STREPSIADES
  That's　very　simple　and　easy。
  SOCRATES
  Let　me　hear。
  STREPSIADES
  This　way。　If　another　case　had　to　be　pleaded　before　mine　was
  called；　I　should　run　and　hang　myself。
  SOCRATES
  You　talk　rubbish！
  STREPSIADES
  Not　so；　by　the　gods！　if　I　were　dead；　no　action　could　lie　against
  me。
  SOCRATES
  You　are　merely　beating　the　air。　Get　out！　I　will　give　you　no　more
  lessons。
  STREPSIADES　（imploringly）
  Why　not？　Oh！　Socrates！　in　the　name　of　the　gods！
  SOCRATES
  But　you　forget　as　fast　as　you　learn。　Come；　what　was　the　thing　I
  taught　you　first？　Tell　me。
  STREPSIADES
  Ah　let　me　see。　What　was　the　first　thing？　What　was　it　then？　Ah！
  that　thing　in　which　we　knead　the　bread；　oh！　my　god！　what　do　you　call
  it？
  SOCRATES
  Plague　take　the　most　forgetful　and　silliest　of　old　addlepates！
  STREPSIADES
  Alas！　what　a　calamity！　what　will　become　of　me？　I　am　undone　if　I　do
  not　learn　how　to　ply　my　tongue。　Oh！　Clouds！　give　me　good　advice。
  CHORUS…LEADER
  Old　man；　we　counsel　you；　if　you　have　brought　up　a　son；　to　send　him
  to　learn　in　your　stead。
  STREPSIADES
  Undoubtedly　I　have　a　son；　as　well　endowed　as　the　best；　but　he　is
  unwilling　to　learn。　What　will　become　of　me？
  CHORUS…LEADER
  And　you　don't　make　him　obey　you？
  STREPSIADES
  You　see；　he　is　big　and　strong；　moreover；　through　his　mother　he
  is　a　descendant　of　those　fine　birds；　the　race　of　Coesyra。
  Nevertheless；　I　will　go　and　find　him；　and　if　he　refuses；　I　will　turn
  him　out　of　the　house。　Go　in；　Socrates；　and　wait　for　me　awhile。
  （SOCRATES　goes　into　the　Thoughtery；　STREPSIADES　into　his　own　house。）
  CHORUS　（singing）
  Do　you　understand；　Socrates；　that　thanks　to　us　you　will　be
  loaded　with　benefits？　Here　is　a　man；　ready　to　obey　you　in　all
  things。　You　see　how　he　is　carried　away　with　admiration　and　enthusiasm。
  Profit　by　it　to　clip　him　as　short　as　possible；　fine　chances　are　all
  too　quickly　gone。
  STREPSIADES　（coming　out　of　his　house　and　pushing　his　son　in　front　of
  him）　No；　by　the　Clouds！　you　stay　here　no　longer；　go　and　devour　the
  ruins　of　your　uncle　Megacles'　fortune。
  PHIDIPPIDES
  Oh！　my　poor　father！　what　has　happened　to　you？　By　the　Olympian
  Zeus！　You　are　no　longer　in　your　senses！
  STREPSIADES
  Look！　〃the　Olympian　Zeus。〃　Oh！　you　fool！　to　believe　in　Zeus　at
  your　age！
  PHIDIPPIDES
  What　is　there　in　that　to　make　you　laugh？
  STREPSIADES
  You　are　then　a　tiny　little　child；　if　you　credit　such　antiquated
  rubbish！　But　come　here；　that　I　may　teach　you；　I　will　tell　you
  something　very　necessary　to　know　to　be　a　man；　but　do　not　repeat　it
  to　anybody。
  PHIDIPPIDES
  Tell　me；　what　is　it？
  STREPSIADES
  Just　now　you　swore　by　Zeus。
  PHIDIPPIDES
  Sure　I　did。
  STREPSIADES
  Do　you　see　how　good　it　is　to　learn？　Phidippides；　there　is　no　Zeus。
  PHIDIPPIDES
  What　is　there　then？
  STREPSIADES
  The　Whirlwind　has　driven　out　Zeus　and　is　King　now。
  PHIDIPPIDES
  What　drivel！
  STREPSIADES
  You　must　realize　that　it　is　true。
  PHIDIPPIDES
  And　who　says　so？
  STREPSIADES
  Socrates；　the　Melian；　and　Chaerephon；　who　knows　how　to　measure　the
  jump　of　a　flea。
  PHIDIPPIDES
  Have　you　reached　such　a　pitch　of　madness　that　you　believe　those
  bilious　fellows？
  STREPSIADES
  Use　better　language；　and　do　not　insult　men　who　are　clever　and　full
  of　wisdom；　who；　to　economize；　never　shave；　shun　the　gymnasia　and　never
  go　to　the　baths；　while　you；　you　only　await　my　death　to　eat　up　my
  wealth。　But　come；　come　as　quickly　as　you　can　to　learn　in　my　stead。
  PHIDIPPIDES
  And　what　good　can　be　learnt　of　them？
  STREPSIADES
  What　good　indeed？　Why；　all　human　knowledge。　Firstly；　y